Legendary Soft Tee

There's a certain kind of person who doesn't need to tell the story, because everyone in the room already knows it. The Legendary yeti wears shades when it wants and wears a beard that's logged more miles than most people's vehicles.

It's the Gildan 64000 Softstyle — 4.5 oz ring-spun cotton that goes soft from the first wash and stays that way. Taped shoulders, ethically grown cotton, certified clean. Five colors, six sizes (XS–2XL).

Side effects of wearing may include being the person everyone quietly looks to when things get weird.